Please Think For Yourself

Video

Wed, 29 Feb 2012 21:04:55 +0000

post coming soon. promise.

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 23:10:44 +0000

post coming soon. promise.

Classic Kramer. Hilarious. Seinfeld does dubstep.

Thu, 19 Jan 2012 22:49:00 +0000

Classic Kramer. Hilarious. Seinfeld does dubstep.

Coachella. You lucky bastards.

Sun, 15 Jan 2012 20:15:50 +0000

Coachella. You lucky bastards.

Kim Kardigan's bottom

Fri, 13 Jan 2012 22:03:00 +0000

Before I start this fully correct prophecy about a major problem in our society, I know I am going to complete and act out a stereotype of my personality that many of you enjoy. So I hope this fulfils your expectations.

Simply I don’t get it.

I will explain it like this.

I am quite different to both my sisters. If you know my family well this will be easier for you to picture. My sister, Sara, is a Justin Bieber obsessed, typical, mouthy, north London Immanuel girl. My other sister, Natalie, is a Kim Kardashian obsessed, typical, mouthy north London Habs girl.

Kim Kardashian.

Through the ages people have idealised their heroes. My current hero is a mix of Thom Yorke, Luka Modders (Modric to you non-fans) and Larry David. To be idealised, normally, you have to have had achieved something.

Before I’m asked:

‘Oh Goldstein! What about your joke heroes like Eboue! he’s hilarious! he’s a hero because he proves the sub-standard quality of the Arsenal squad.’

No. This is not joke heroes. This is your full-on hero. Your Thierry Henry. Your Taylor Swift. Your Ricky Gervais.

The fact is that I know why Kim Kardashian is famous. She is in a reality TV show. Or what others refer to as ‘crap.’ However, what has she achieved? Why is she idealised?

Overlooking her heroism makes the idealiser seem crass. Well not crass. More like a pathetic twat.

You would admire Thierry Henry because he helped Arsenal win trophies. Indeed he was part of the Invincibles and the DOUBLE winning team. Thats TWO trophies in one season. Arsenal haven’t even managed one in the past 7 years, so the achievement is understandable.

He can be a hero. Even i have to admit he’s a legend. And however jammy and predictable his goal was; even I smiled.

Kim Kardashian on the other hand has not achieved anything. Idealising her is the equivalent of a girl proclaiming that her idol is Katie Price. Both figures have achieved nothing other then having an attractive figure and a good agent behind them to get them their photoshoots and tv shows.

‘But Adam! Kim is so clever! Look how she’s made so much success out of nothing’

Fair point. But that’s not what you admire. You do not watch Kourtney and the Kardigans with a notepad analysing her entrepreneurial ability. One sits admiring the awful everyday social dilemmas which arrive. Should I get a tattoo or not? Should I drink Orange juice or water?

Just to say. I would have no problem with you idealising the intelligence of their agents and backing team. They are clever. Very clever. But they aren’t famous as, to be honest, the ideas have been done before.

But the sad thing in our society is that by having such people all over the magazines one hands people such vulgar idols.

I want to be like Katie Price when I’m older. I.e. I want to have multiple boob jobs until they are of quite an unmanageable size and cause me to be put in HEAT magazine. I guess its the same with Kim Kardigan’s bum. That’s also not real.

My parents heroes were Mandela and Bowie. My sister’s is Kardashian. Sad no?

Unfortunately this can be derived from a deep problem in our society where people find themselves too involved in a cheap celebrity culture. This of course originates from the Big Brothers and the X factors. However, I’m only Adam Goldstein. I’m no philosopher, psychologist or social revolutionary. I’m merely logical. If your hero is Katie Price. Please re-evaluate your decision and get a life. Not someone else’s. Preferably make up your own.

Please choose your heroes wisely.

PS. Celebrity culture is fine. Even Justin Bieber has achieved a success in music which should be regarded as ‘worthy.’ So. If you think of ripping this, please notice the fact that I am mocking CHEAP celebrity culture. Not Celebrity Culture. The one you should follow freely .

Absolutely Classic. Matthew Perlman-esq bunking. Brilliant film

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 12:00:05 +0000

Absolutely Classic. Matthew Perlman-esq bunking. Brilliant film

true say. desperate.

Tue, 10 Jan 2012 12:00:05 +0000

true say. desperate.

Video

Mon, 09 Jan 2012 12:00:05 +0000

Classic teenager posing with Bacardi Breezer

Sun, 08 Jan 2012 12:00:00 +0000

I’ve been quite proud of this blog recently. God knows why. Its crap. But then you’re reading it, so it must be amusing. Anyway, I thought, before this goes out & creates my inevitable social murder, I’d better make sure I don’t embarrass myself and show it to a few mates.

I showed it to Max Prais. He called me self indulgent. Alright. Fair enough. However he also said he enjoyed it and agreed with a few things I’d said. Encouraging.

Matt Kuber, however, said the opposite. He said:

‘Goldstein, I just don’t see the point of it…. I mean you even make a contradiction of your pretentious style by forgetting to capitalise your ‘i’s.

…

Also quite looking forward to my future mentions.’

I was quite shaken by that. It wasn’t the fact that I’d got a parking ticket, nor got rejected by another uni previously that day. But me? Pretentious?

I can see where he’s coming from. I mock people for their language. I mock people for their style. I use the word mock. I use a ranging vocabulary. I don’t use the word bruv. Quite pretentious in that way, I guess. But this is from Matt Kuber. He goes to Cambridge. He goes shooting pheasants with his mates. He knows what pretentious is.

This comment got me quite scared. The most pretentious thing I’ve ever experienced was the club Amika. Surrounded by Flash, Chelsea boys wearing cream blazers, whipping out grands, in fifties, to buy Grey Goose bottles for 20 girls they don’t know. The arrogance of these people was extravagant. As was the guy’s fake tan and the wealth he would probably acquire in his dad’s will. It was one of the most unpleasant places I’ve been.

If I sound that pretentious in my blogs, someone has the permission to castrate me.

However, this got me thinking. Is pretentious the same as flash? Obviously not in a blog sense - in general. And if so - why are boys two-years below me advertising large bottles of Belvedere & Grey Goose in their profile pictures? Its hilarious. Must mean that these boys go hard. Especially at Merah. At Merah they go HARD.

I was thinking of why people do those pictures. I know now most of the time its for a laugh. Everyone remembers the classic Bacardi Breezer year 8 photo. Surely the Belvedere is a step up from that? A continuous mockery. I certainly hope so as otherwise you look like a bit of a twat.

Anyway, that convoluted rubbish was just to bring your attention to these hilarious two-years below boys who think they’re sick going to Merah with their Belvedere bottles.

With all means go to Merah with the rest of your year. Have a laugh. Just don’t be so flash.

PS. if you feel like naming or shaming, or both, with a link of a picture of a friend gloating their grey goose. I will not hesitate to put it up. Good banter.

Brilliant. classic comedy. James Colenutt esq.

Sat, 07 Jan 2012 12:00:00 +0000

Brilliant. classic comedy. James Colenutt esq.

"That rapper is so poignant"

Fri, 06 Jan 2012 13:52:06 +0000

“That rapper is so poignant”

- Aron Keller

The Big Lebowski. Something I can relate to. So can Jack Wagner.

Fri, 06 Jan 2012 13:45:00 +0000

The Big Lebowski. Something I can relate to. So can Jack Wagner.

The Eye Turner

Thu, 05 Jan 2012 22:55:00 +0000

The Eye Turner

Man, that's bare funny

Thu, 05 Jan 2012 22:49:00 +0000

Tonight’s been interesting. I sat round a table in the Spaniard with a few mates. We were organising another mate’s birthday and just having general banter. Not directed at me for once. Just general.

Anyway, as the conversation turned to uni offers, I enclosed my latest rejection; Bristol.

‘Man thats peak.’

‘Sorry?’

Its not that I’m some arrogant lethargic twat who isn’t down with the lingo. Well at least not lethargic. I know what the word means. Just why use it in such a highly personal conversation. I remember having a conversation last week concerning a really upsetting illness affecting someone I know.

‘Man, thats bare sad’

Its just that the usage of these words annoys me. Why do it? There’s simply no need. It hasn’t got to the point where your sub-consciously saying these words. I mean where do these words originate from? Probably out of the mouth of some youte in Brixton who mugged one of us North London Jews on Mill Hill Broadway.

I used to conclude that people say such words as they felt insecure not fitting in. I still believe this is the case. But is there not a time and place? Sure there is. But honestly bruv, away from me, you might think you’re sick but its just getting me vexed and that’s quite peak.

Anyway, this is my second post & Ben Steinert was here to endorse & boost the ratings. I know he’s a hit with the year below HABS girls. Maybe they’ll read. When I’m really desperate I’ll hire Sam for two years below.

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Learn from the greatest

Thu, 05 Jan 2012 02:15:00 +0000

Learn from the greatest

The First Anticipated Post

Thu, 05 Jan 2012 02:01:00 +0000

To be honest, I’ve always thought blogs were decadent. A place where lads, or ladies, who weren’t poets, singers or musicians could have a stage. But that’s not the reason to call it decadence. The prime reason is that they - the blogger - believe they’re opinion is always right. How obnoxious. But then why am I writing one? To be honest, I am normally right. But then this blog isn’t really serious.

I also thought a blog was a place where you could portray yourself as ‘cool.’

‘Oh, people know I’m sick because I post new & underground music, and new music is cool.’

Those people are wrong. Well not all wrong. I can see why they think its cool. They are sort of peacocking the fact they love music. Especially cool music. Especially dubstep or rap. Or whatever the crowd will think is cool.

Quite ironic in a way that these people are ‘individual.’ These people forget that old music is also cool. Most of you do. People forget that everything you hear comes from songs written by those legendary bands and pop groups. If you don’t believe me- search your favourite artist at http://www.whosampled.com/ When I searched Radiohead I was quite pissed off to be honest.

I’ve never though of why I prefer old music. It’s not necessarily better or worse. But i can’t really find myself drunkenly singing along in a cab home in Israel to Take Care by Drake then I would Angels with Robbie. I think I enjoy knowing that when i play music, others will enjoy it with me. This is against, for example, when you play the Maccabees new track in the car, late at night, with your mateys, on the way home. And despite if its good, that record isn’t proven as the classic has through the years.

Carrying on with music, nothing pisses me off more than a crap cover of any of the classics. At a Mark Ronson gig before the summer, I was graced by a performance by one of Britain’s hundred upcoming rap artists Wretch 32.

‘Goldstein! you saw Wretch 32!!! he’s sick.’

To be fair to the hard working gentleman, which I don’t doubt, I went to see him with the lads at T in the Park also. He hadn’t improved. But you know what, at least he turned up. Fair play to him. I heard before that he was quite disgruntled to hear that I was in the audience. Regardless, he did have one good song. Haven’t searched it up, because I shouldn’t have to. I should want to. But he also ruined one of my favourite songs.

Just because Example is in it does not make this any better. In fact it makes it worse. This is because Example blocked me on twitter because I called him arrogant, and he’s a prick.

I mean at least do it properly. Take Lou Reed, for example, and a Tribe called Quest. Both of the songs are good. Neither sound like cheaply made crap.

Anyway. That’s enough of my drivel for today. I write this just for you people who enjoy my tweets. However few of you. Even if you’ve read this. You. You’ve found my tweets amusing in either embarrassment or humour so good.

Think For Yourselves,

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